


let's play pretend

by glowyinthedark



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: Domestic Violence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:01:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28124295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glowyinthedark/pseuds/glowyinthedark
Summary: Kiara knew that if it was not her Rafe was hurting he would just find someone else or worse, he would begin to hurt himself. And she just didn’t see the villain they saw, she just saw a little boy in pain.or a look into what it would look like if Kiara had dated Rafe during her kook year.
Relationships: JJ/Kiara (Outer Banks), Rafe Cameron/Kiara
Comments: 8
Kudos: 62





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to add a trigger warning that there is domestic violence in this fic. I'm not really sure where this idea came from, but I have always wanted to explore what it would possibly be like if Kiara and Rafe were in a relationship.

Rafe had not always been this way. When she had first started hanging out with Sarah he was kind of sweet. He was kind, never angry. Kiara thinks he got lost somewhere along the way. So focused on approval from his father he got up every morning with the sole purpose of surviving rather than actually living. 

She’s not with him because she wants to be. If it was up to Kiara, she would have dumped him immediately after the first time it happened. But she was doing it for her parents. Her father’s last wish had been that as much as it pissed Kiara off, she would do whatever she could to make sure her mother was happy. So that’s exactly what she did. 

\-----

The first time he wrapped his hands around her neck was after they had come home from a party. She was drunk and screaming at him for not even bothering to be subtle when he was flirting with every vagina on legs and he was high, screaming back that she was always so jealous and delusional. When she muttered under her breath  _ like mother like son  _ he grabbed her by the throat and threw her into the wall. 

She had called JJ after, not knowing what else to do. It took her ten minutes of begging and a lot of crying to convince JJ to not kill Rafe right then and there. She promised him that it would never happen again, she was going to tell him they were done as soon as she was him next. Neither of them commented on how they both knew she was lying as she sobbed into his chest with hand prints painted around her neck and bruises like tattoos scattered across her body. 

The next day Rafe had bought her jewelry she knew was picked out by Sarah with a credit card she knew belonged to his father. He begged her for forgiveness, saying he was young, he didn't know any better. She forgave him more out of fear than out of love. She knew she didn’t love him, not when her heart already belonged to someone else. She tried not to flinch in his embrace when he swore he would never lay a hand on her ever again. 

\-----

They had known each other practically their entire lives. She and Sarah had been attached to the hip ever since Kiara had started attending Kook Academy. Just a few years after their mother had left them with a man she always referred to as “like a brother”. Just a few years after their dad started to spend more time with booze and business than with his own three children. 

Sarah had told her Rafe had been closer to their mother and when she had left, he took it hard. But still, she didn’t see any warning signs right away. He kept his sleazy friends from hitting on her and Sarah, he picked them up from parties when they were too drunk to even walk, and in return, Kiara had always made sure he was taken care of. Another plus was that it kept her mother happy, her daughter giving them an in by dating Kook royalty. 

\-----

The next time was more subtle. He grabbed her by the arms so hard she swore her veins were going to burst. She screamed at him to stop, but he only screamed louder. She knew then that the monster she was staring at was not what the idea her dad had in mind when he had asked her to keep her mother happy. But still, she stayed. 

The more he abused her, the less she protested. Her eyes became more and more lifeless. She blankly stared at him as he imprinted purple bruises along her tan skin. 

She wondered if Sarah ever noticed. She was sure she had too, there had to be a reason why she skipped out on pool parties and tanning sessions. There had to be a reason why Kiara wore hoodies and linen pants in the summer. But even if she did, Sarah never asked. 

\-----

It became so frequent it was like JJ could sense it. She no longer needed to call him, he was already waiting for her by her bedroom window by the time she got home. And as much as he hated it, JJ never said a word, just applied the concealer over the bruises for her because her hands were shaking too much. 

She knew he was disappointed in her, even if he never said so. She knew that he knew what she meant when she would tell him she was sorry in between sobs. He never said anything in return, just held her the way she wished her actual boyfriend would. 

\-----

It wasn’t always that way. She and Rafe had good days. He would take her on dates to the movies and listen to her rant about how dangerous plastic was for marine life while picking up litter on the beach. 

It wasn’t like he didn’t know it was wrong. Kiara knew he had somewhat of a soul. There was this one time they had been watching some stupid James Bond movie that he was into where he had asked her if she was afraid of him. She had looked at him, thought for a moment before answering back no. He didn’t look at her when he replied “you should be”. 

Kiara knew that if it was not her Rafe was hurting he would just find someone else or worse, he would begin to hurt himself. And Kiara didn’t think he deserved that after everything he had been through. She just didn’t see the villain they saw, she just saw a little boy in pain. 

\-----

She and JJ didn’t talk about it often, but when they did, they went at it. But it was never like today. 

JJ had called her over saying he was bored and needed entertaining. Pope had been helping out Heyward and John B was spending the day with his uncle who had recently come to visit. She tried not to think about how JJ never called her to hang out whenever the three of them together. She wondered if Pope and John B were still mad at her for leaving them behind. 

They spent most of the day smoking a joint on the hammocks until JJ announced he was starving and forced Kie to make something for him. They usually ignored the whole subject of Rafe entirely, but when Kiara’s shirt lifted a little because she had reached up to get a plate, she knew there was no avoiding it this time. He had stormed over to her and lifted her shirt up higher, Kiara trying but failing to push him away in response. He had cursed when he saw a giant bruise right below her left rib. 

“JJ what the fuck!” she had spat at him, more angry at herself than at him. 

“How the fuck can you not see that he’s hurtting you” she couldn’t tell if he was upset with her or upset that he hadn’t done more to prevent it. 

“You wouldn’t understand” she scoffed back at him, putting her attention back on the sandwich she was making. 

They both knew there was something between them, something more than  _ just best friends _ . Neither of them commented on it, and neither of them acted on it. They settled for lingering stares and hugs longer than they should be. And sometimes when Kiara was kissing Rafe, she would pretend he was someone else. She didn’t know how to explain it to JJ because she knew no matter how hard she tried, he just wouldn’t get it. He wouldn’t get why she cared so much about her mother’s opinion because he thought she treated Kie like shit. But she just couldn’t break her mother’s heart more than it already was. 

“Is it because he can give you what I can’t?” She knew what JJ meant by that, she knew he meant financially, but technically he was right, dating JJ would never make her mother happy. So she agreed anyway. 

“I would never lay a hand on you.” She didn’t know how to tell him that for her, that would never be enough. 


	2. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Although it takes Kie a while to get there, here is the happy ending JJ and Kiara deserve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest piece I have ever written so far but Kiara and JJ deserve a lengthy happy ending so here we go! Just like the last chapter there is a tw for domestic abuse.

She doesn’t know the exact moment her mother notices. All she knows is one day her mother is wondering when the next time Rafe will be coming over for dinner and the next Anna is pulling her onto the couch saying they need to talk. 

“Kiara,” she starts off with. As if there are multiple topics of discussions they could be having. Kiara knows that her mother is hoping that she will take the lead with this conversation. That she will just confess to everything and save them both the trouble of having to tiptoe around everything. It almost disappoints her that her mother doesn’t know her better by now. “Is there something you need to tell me?” 

Her fathers words are playing in constant repeat inside her head. She knows her mother can be cruel, and that they butt heads ninety-nine percent of the time, but she also knows that the choice between being close to Kook royalty versus having her daughter away from her abusive boyfriend is obvious. 

When Kiara doesn’t respond Anna sighs, “Kiara I’m not an idiot.” She’s only half listening to her, the other half of her is trying to think of good excuses she can use to keep her from having this conversation. “It’s the middle of the summer, I have an idea as to why you keep insisting on wearing hoodies inside the house.” 

“Mom the AC is just a lot colder in the house this year.” Kiara convinced herself that if she acts fed up enough with this conversation her mother will throw her a bone and just let her leave.

“I didn’t turn on the AC this year Kiara.” 

Oh. Shit. Her brain scrambles for another excuse that won’t make her sound like she is pathetically lying but she comes up short. She could say she was sick, but her mother is smart enough to know Kiara hasn’t coughed or sneezed in months. She could say she was pregnant and was trying to hide the bump, but that will cause more problems rather than solve any. But Kiara doesn’t get the chance to say anything to defend herself because her mom continues talking. 

“I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye and I know what your father said to you right before he passed, but Kiara, doing this is not what he meant. You are not going to disappoint me by ending things with him. You are my daughter Kiara, and it hurts me that you are allowing him to hurt you in order to make me happy.” Anna plays her hand overtop of Kiara and out of habit Kie starts to move hers away before stopping herself. Anna pauses, as if she is waiting to see if Kiara will respond when they both know that she won’t. 

“Now I am going to give you the chance to resolve this issue on your own first, but if you don’t I will be taking this into my own hands.” Kiara sighs and gets up from the couch. She knows that there is no point in arguing with her mother so she just nods in agreement. As she turns to head up the stairs, her mother stops her. “I love you Kiara.” 

“I love you too mom.” 

\------

She doesn’t know where to start. She had stood in front of her mirror for hours the night before practicing what she was going to say to him, but now that they’re sitting in front of his pool in the backyard she can’t think of anything she wants to say. 

“I know what you’re going to say.” She hasn’t looked at him since they both sat down, but she can’t help but snap her head up towards him at that comment. She prays that he will make this easier on her, that he will just rip the bandaid off for the both of them. What he says next is not what she was expecting. “I’m starting therapy.” 

She stares at him wide eyed and opened mouth, the speech she had prepared inside her head has completely disappeared. There are a million questions running through her head, but the only one she asks is “why?”.

“I know you probably think differently of me now than when you first met me. I know you probably hate me but are too scared to break it off on me because I’ll,” She knows what he’s trying to say, and part of her feels guilty that he finds it so difficult to say what they are both thinking, but the other part of her despises him for it. How dare he hurt her the way he does and then feel guilty about it, but then continue to do it all over again. “But yeah, I want to do this for the both of us Kie, you deserve someone better and I want to be that person for you.” 

Kie doesn’t know what to say, the speech she had prepared did not address  _ this _ . Her brain is scrambled, switching between asking herself ‘what would her mother want her to do.’ ‘what would her father want her to do.’  _ what would JJ want her to do. _ She wishes she could go back to the time where Kiara was only doing things for herself and no one else. 

“I know I don’t deserve it, and I won’t get upset or do anything that I shouldn’t if you reject me, but I would really like a second chance Kie, and I promise I will change and never hurt you again.” The desperation in his voice hits her body harder than his hands ever have. She knows everyone would want her to say no, tell him to fuck right off and that she never wants to see him again, but Kie hasn’t said no to anyone in such a long time. Not since her dad has died. The word sounds so foreign inside of her head, almost wrong. So she swallows and nods her head because she doesn’t nod her head. 

And while Rafe is hugging her and whispering how sorry he is into her hair, Kie can’t help but wonder if this is what Stockholm syndrome feels like. 

\-----

Rafe and Kiara do not attend a party together often, mostly because alcohol and their relationship do not mix well together, but Rafe’s therapy had been working well lately and Kiara had been getting restless with constantly switching between their houses to watch a movie on the couch, so they both decide maybe a party would be a good idea this time. 

They were both wrong. 

The party starts off normally. Rafe and her part as soon as they enter the house, Rafe heading towards some guys Kiara swears she has never seen before even everyone here supposedly goes to the same school as her, and Kie towards Sarah and the girls she is always with but Kie can never remember the name of. 

Sarah squeals and throws her arms around Kie and Valerie? Vanessa? Kie can’t remember, but the girl with the terrible blonde dye job standing beside Sarah places a cup in Kie’s hands and tells her how good it is to see her. Kie snorts to herself because she’s almost 100% sure this was the girl who was hitting on Rafe the last time Kie was at a party, but she smiles back at her anyways. 

She’s numbly nodding along to whatever this girl from her English class is saying to her when JJ, John B, and Pope walk through the door. She knows she shouldn’t be surprised when she sees the boys crash the party, but she hasn’t spoken to JJ ever since their big blow up so she is shocked anyways. He doesn’t notice her at first, greeting random girls and shaking hands with random guys he passes by and stealing an unopened beer from a nearby table, but when they make eye contact he stops in his tracks. They stare at each other for a while from across the room, until John B whispers something into his ear and then she loses them. 

If the girl in front of her notices, she doesn’t say anything. She just gives Kie a look and then walks into the kitchen. When Kiara turns around to go back to Sarah and her minions, she notices that they’re not there. She sighs and heads into the kitchen, hoping to find Sarah in there. Kie can feel the effect the drinks have had on her as she tries to walk straight. Unfortunately for her she crashes into someone and they spill their drink all over her shirt. 

“Oh shit.” She half complains half giggles. She doesn’t know what she finds so funny, she really liked this shirt, a black cropped tank top that went with most of her pants and shorts, and now it reeks of vodka, but she laughs anyways. 

“Fuck I’m so sorry.” She looks up to find one of Rafe’s friends she doesn’t know the name of staring down at her.  _ God why don’t I know the name of anyone here, don’t I go to school with these people?  _ She thinks to herself, or at least she thinks so. 

“Huh?” The guy in front of her says and Kie giggles. 

“Oops nothing. Sorry about your drink.” The guy looks around, probably searching for Rafe so he can explain to him what happened before he hears a different story from someone else. Kie rolls her eyes, she doesn’t understand everyone’s fear of Rafe’s temper. 

“It’s no problem.” he says without looking at her, still searching for Rafe over her head. “Are you sure you’re alright?” Kie racks her brain trying to remember when this guy had even asked her if she was okay the first time, but all her memories from tonight seem to be jumbled together. 

“Yup.” she replies popping the p. “I’m gonna go clean this off, sorry about your drink again.” 

She finally makes her way into the kitchen and finds JJ propped up on the counter with a girl with brown hair and shorts that are so short they should be considered underwear instead between his legs. If she wasn’t so drunk, her heart would have dropped to her feet. Instead Kie scoffs to herself and grumbles a ‘disgusting’ under her breath. 

She walks to the opposite countertop where the sink is and starts washing her shirt. It doesn’t take her long to figure out that attempting to wash the vodka with some soap out is not helping her situation at all, as her shirt is now soaked. On top of that, the smell of the lavender soap mixed with vodka is making her gag. 

“Looks like you’ve found yourself in a sticky situation.” She doesn’t know when JJ left the girl he was with to join her by the sink, and she blames the alcohol for the way her heart flutters at the thought of her abandoning a potential hook up to help her.

“Ha-ha.” She says sarcastically in response. She turns her head to look at him, but she moves too quickly and begins to feel dizzy. She grabs the counter with one hand and blinks slowly a couple of times to ground herself. 

JJ raises an eyebrow at her and leans across the counter. Kie tries to not think about how attractive he looks and in a different lifetime where the two of them end up together, Kie would have leaned over and kissed him. “Jesus Kie how drunk are you?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” She partially sings and turns her attention back to her soaked shirt. She sighs and turns the sink off, her plan clearly not working. 

As she turns to leave to go search for Sarah she nearly falls and JJ grabs her forearms to steady her, shaking his head. “You’ve definitely had too much to drink.” 

She hears him before she sees him. Rafe doesn’t seem to notice them yet, so Kiara pushes JJ away. When Rafe does notice them, she can see by his reaction that it was too late. He looks between her and JJ, and then at her soaked shirt. His race slowly forming a scowl. 

“What’s going on here?” 

“Nothing!” Kie tries to assure him, instead sounding like a child who had just gotten caught with their hand stuck inside of a cookie jar. She stands beside him and tugs on his arm. “My shirt is wrecked, let’s go home.” She knows what it looks like to JJ, she can feel the disappointment radiating off of him and she tries to ignore how nauseous it makes her feel. She wishes he could understand that she’s doing this for him, to protect him. She’s not doing this for herself. 

“What the fuck are you doing here Maybank?” 

JJ looks at both her and Rafe before raising his hands in mock surrender “Look man I was just helping her out.” She turns her head so she doesn’t have to look at the betrayal in his eyes. 

“Well I’m here now so you can go.” JJ scoffs and she can feel him turn to look at her. 

“Kie?” She doesn’t look back at him. 

“Actually it’s fine, we’ll go. C’mon Kie.” Rafe grabs her arm and drags her towards the door. She’s too ashamed to do anything about it. 

\-----

Rafe doesn’t say anything the entire car ride home. He doesn’t look at her once either. Kie tries to convince herself that everything is going to be fine. He’s in therapy, he promised her he wouldn’t hurt her. They’ll probably just have a fight in her driveway and then they’ll make up the next day. Nothing too bad will happen. 

But Rafe doesn’t take her home, he takes her to his house. He ignores her as they walk towards his house, he ignores her as they head inside and he drops his keys inside of the bowl near the door. He ignores her as they head up the stairs, and it’s not until they get to the top of the stairs Kie has decided she’s had enough. 

“Why are you even mad at me?” Part of her cringes at how some of her words slur, the more intoxicated part of her doesn’t care. 

“How could you embarrass me like that in front of all our friends?”  _ Actually,  _ she wants to tell him,  _ I barely knew anyone there. _

“We weren’t doing anything wrong Rafe!” It’s true. At least she thinks so. It was typical JJ and Kie banter, nothing less and nothing more. Whether that equals flirting Kie is unsure, but JJ and her have been that way around each other their entire lives. If Rafe can’t handle that she has other guy friends than that’s his problem.    
  
“Really Kiara? Really?! Because you’re always screaming at me for doing the same thing. If that had been me and Victoria how would you have felt?

‘So Victoria is her name’ Kiara thinks to herself, then giggles. She almost forgets where she is and what exactly is happening, but then reality sets in as Rafe starts yelling at her again. 

“Is this funny to you or something?!” 

Kie fights the urge to roll her eyes, instead she screams back at him louder. “Of course not! God Rafe I’m clearly drunk, how can you not see that.” 

Rafe groans and runs his hand through his hair. “Okay fine, answer me this then. Do you feel anything for him?” 

That sobers Kie up quickly. “What?” she asks in response, her voice much smaller. 

“Do you love him?” Rafe’s eyes are pleading. Begging her that even if she does, to lie to him. To deny it so they can go back to normal tomorrow. So he can forgive her and she can push the guilty feelings away once again. 

And she almost does. The word ‘no’ is on the tip of her tongue, but then a million memories flood through her head. JJ brushing her hair when she’s too high to do it herself. JJ teaching her to surf when they were kids. JJ carrying her into the chateau every time he thought she had fallen asleep on the hammocks outside. So she decides to tell Rafe the truth instead. He may be a douchebag, but he deserves that much. 

“Yes. I love him.” 

And then Rafe throws her down the stairs. 

\-----

She ends up in the hospital. Nothing major, just a minor concussion and a broken ankle. There are also a bunch of bruises scattered along her body but those are not anything she isn’t used to. She tries to ignore the looks the nurse gives her after she tells them she fell from missing a step because she was texting. She knows that they’re not stupid, that they know the paramedics didn’t pick her up from her house but her boyfriends. But she lets it go because they don’t question her when she asks them to not let Rafe inside the room. 

Her mother won’t let her leave the house as soon as she’s released. She says it is because she doesn’t want Kiara injuring her ankle more, but they both know it’s to keep her away from Rafe. 

JJ comes by everyday. When he shows up at her doorstep the first day she’s released and she wants to ask him how the hell he even knows, but she can’t seem to find her voice. Thankfully for her, JJ tells her anyway. 

“I overheard Rafe tell people about your ‘trip down the stairs’ while I was doing a delivery for Heyward.” He doesn’t meet her eye while telling her this, just takes a spot next to her on the couch and drops a bunch of DVD’s on the table in front of them. “I wanted to bring you something and I know you hate flowers, so I brought movies so you can have something to do while you’re stuck here.” She wants to tell him thank you, or that she’s planning to break up with Rafe as soon as she sees him next, but instead she picks up the first movie from the pile and asks him if he wants to watch it with her. 

She can tell her mother is trying really hard to keep her mouth shut about it.  They don’t address the argument they had days prior, the both of them have always been better at running from their problems. 

He just drops by after his shift at the autobody shop so her mother can run errands or go to work. But there are these moments where she thinks that JJ is going to say something, or he’s going to try and kiss her. Like when he’s helping her off the couch and into her crutches and his gaze drops to her lips, or when he licks his lips and opens his mouth to say something, pauses, then tells her he’s going to the washroom. 

He never comes the day after those moments, so Kie knows he notices it too. He tells her he had to pick up an extra shift or that he had to help out John B with something. But he always comes the day after with more DVD’s and a goofy smile on his face that makes Kie’s heart warm. 

Kie wonders how much longer they can avoid everything until their entire situation implodes. 

\-----

It takes Sarah three days to visit her. Kiara knows that if Sarah did not know before, she definitely has too now. Sarah brings her a potted plant and Kiara knows it is because she didn’t know what else to bring. What else is supposed to say  _ hey I’m sorry my brother spent half of your relationship together abusing you and I had no idea about it.  _ Kie doesn’t know why Sarah brought anything at all, but smiles at Sarah and puts the plant on the table in front of her and pats a spot beside her on the couch. 

It’s awkward and tense but Kiara refuses to talk first, after all Sarah is the one who came to her. 

But Sarah sits there beside her on the couch, switching between staring at the plant in front of them and picking at her purple nail polish on her thumb. So Kiara bites the bullet for the both of them. 

“Did you know?” 

She waits for the  _ of course I didn’t  _ or  _ if I did do you really think I would have let it continue?  _ but neither of those answers come. Sarah doesn’t say anything and her silence answers Kiara’s question more than any words could. 

“I didn’t think it was as bad as it actually was. Sometimes when Topper and I go at it he’ll shove me and I don’t know why, I just normalized it. I feel so stupid now, because I saw all the signs with you and Rafe and I chose to ignore them.” Sarah’s voice cracks and Kie thinks she might die if Sarah starts crying. She knows she is supposed to comfort her, telling her that it’s not her fault. But she doesn’t know how, Kie’s never been good with words and expressing how she feels. 

“Topper shoving you is not normal either Sarah.” She knows it’s a crappy response, after everything Sarah said that’s how Kie chooses to respond, but Sarah doesn’t seem to mind. 

“I know, that’s why I ended it with him.” Sarah sighs and places her hand overtop of Kie’s, just how her mother had a couple of weeks ago. She hates it, it’s as if people think she is going to fly away as soon as they start to have hard conversations. 

“We shouldn’t have to be these people Kie, living our lives for other people instead of for ourselves. We both deserve better than that.” Sarah reaches out for her, as if she is going to hug her, but when Kiara flinches out of habit she retrieves her hand immediately. Kie isn’t exactly sure when this conversation turned into being about Sarah, but goes along with it anyways. “I am so sorry. And I’ll understand if you hate me or never want to speak to me again, but I just wanted you to know how sorry I am.” Part of her wants to tell Sarah that yeah, she should have known better, but the other part of her is really wanting a friend. A friend that she isn’t secretly in love with and who isn’t secretly in love with her. A friend who can paint her toenails to distract people from her cast and do her makeup for her on the days that Kie is bored out of her mind. 

So Kie smiles at Sarah and grabs the tv remote from beside the plant Sarah brought her. “Want to stay for a while?” 

Sarah looks surprised, as if she was expecting Kiara to tell her to go to hell and never come back. But she quickly recovers and smiles back at her. “Yeah, I’d love that.” 

\-----

Rafe shows up to her house a month and a half later, two days before her cast is supposed to come off. Kiara doesn’t answer the door, but she knows it’s him when her mother screams “No! Absolutely not!”. She hobbles over to the doorway, crutches thrown somewhere in the kitchen which she can’t ask her mother to fetch for her because she is clearly occupied. 

When Rafe sees her he sighs, “Kie thank god. Can we talk?” He takes a step forward, but her mother puts a hand on his chest and frantically shakes her head. 

“No way, not gonna happen. You need to leave, now.” Kie’s too shocked to do anything. She doesn’t remember anything that happened after he pushed her during their argument after the party that night, but one of the nurses had told her that he had called for 911 because she didn’t wake up when she fell, but didn’t join her in the ambulance. And now a month and a half later he was standing in front of her with flowers in his hands. 

“Ms. Carrera please, I just want to talk to her.” Rafe isn’t looking at her mother as he begs her, just continues to stare at Kie with those same pleading eyes he had used that night. 

“I swear to god Rafe, if you come another step closer I will call the police.” Anna is trying her best to close the door, but Rafe is a lot stronger than she is and uses his one arm to keep it open. 

Kie finally butts in. “Mom,” is all she says, but it somehow makes her mother talk louder. 

“No Kiara!” She turns back to Rafe. “You have some nerve showing up here.” She spits back at Rafe and she can see his face crumble. 

“Mom.” Kie says again, this time more stern. Her mother looks between the both of them, glare set on her face before she finally gets up and throws her hands in the air. Her mother sighs and heads towards the kitchen, muttering something along the lines of  _ why do I even bother  _ under her breath. 

Rafe sighs out in relief and Kiara nods her head towards the couch in the living room. The walk there is quiet and neither of them say anything before they have both sat down. 

“What are you doing here Rafe?” She’s afraid he’s going to ask her for another chance. She knows her mother would run in from the kitchen and tell her there’s no way in hell before she could agree, but she can’t bear the amount of guilt it would bring her if he did. 

“I’m here to do what I should have done before.” Kie’s confused as to what exactly Rafe is talking about. Before the party? Before he threw her down the stairs? But before she can ask him, he continues talking. “I should have never asked you for a second chance. That day by my pool, I should have let you go. Part of me knew that you wouldn’t have been able to end things between us, that it would have had to have been me, and I guess I took advantage of that. You always saw the good in me Kie, and I was so afraid that if I let you go you would see me for who I truly am.” 

“You’re not a terrible person Rafe.” She knows she isn’t supposed to tell him that he’s wrong. She’s supposed to tell him off and finally get all the anger out of her. But Kie isn’t angry. She knows she should be because of everything he has done to her. And part of her is anger at the way he handled the party situation, but overall she isn’t angry with him. She wants to laugh at how fucked up it all sounds, he abuses her and she isn’t even upset about it. But most of her knows Rafe isn’t a monster, he’s still just a little boy in pain that needs to be saved, and she understands now that as hard as she tries, she isn’t that person for him. 

“I’m sorry.” and Kie doesn’t notice he has started crying until she looks up at him. The guilty part of her, the part of her that would do anything for him wants to forgive him, but the new independent part of herself that she has developed in the month and a half away from him needs more time. 

“I know.” is what she settles on as a response. She knows it’s not what he was hoping for, but he smiles sadly at her still. 

Before Rafe can say anything, the door opens again and JJ waltz’s in, a new DVD in one hand and a takeout bag in the other. “You will never believe the line they had at- what the fuck?” 

Kie feels some kind of fucked up deja vu at the situation playing out in front of her. Rafe and JJ both look at her, expecting her to say something. She opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, unsure of where to even start. When she finally thinks of something, Rafe beats her to it. 

“Ah, I see.” There is no malicious tone hidden in his voice. Part of her picks up on the heartbreak hidden beneath it, the more guilty part of her pretends it’s not there. 

“Rafe,” Kie starts, but Rafe shakes his head and gets up. 

“It’s okay Kie.” He heads towards the door, past JJ, and Kie desperately hops behind him trying to catch him before he leaves. Rafe saves her the trouble and turns around. “I hope he treats you better than I ever could.” Before she can respond, Rafe gives her one last sad smile and heads towards his car. Kie still can’t seem to wash away the guilty feeling that she’s betraying him as he drives away. 

\-----

When she turns around to look at JJ, he’s still standing in the same spot, an angry expression painted on his face. “Again, what the fuck?” 

“Before you get your panties in a twist, we just broke up, that’s why he came here.” She tries to hop back to the couch, but before she can attempt to JJ picks her up and carries her to the couch, mumbling something about why Rafe couldn’t do it over the phone. 

She chooses to ignore that part and lectures him on babying her instead. “I can walk on my own.” she grumbles. They both know that she can’t. She may be getting her cast off in two days, but her ankle is still healing. 

“Ankles still broken princess.” JJ teases her and she crosses her arms and pouts back at him. Her mind is stuck on the word  _ princess  _ and before she can stop herself, Kie blurts out her thoughts. 

“I think I lived a real life fairytale” JJ looks at her like she’s crazy, so she explains herself. “I met somehow who I thought was a prince, and they turned out to be the villain, but I don’t have a fairy godmother or an animal sidekick to fix it.” He still is looking at her oddly so she adds, “I might have taken one or two extra painkillers today.” 

He chuckles at her and shakes his head, before responding with, “You have me.” 

And for once, Kie allows herself to feel everything those three words made her feel. 

\-----

Kiara’s watching cartoons when the doorbell rings. She looks up at the clock, it’s not 2:30 yet so JJ’s still at work. Sarah’s visiting family for the weekend so it can’t be her either. She furrows her brows at the possibilities of who it could be as she picks up her crutches and pushes herself towards the door. The person standing in front of her is the last person she expected. 

“Pope?”

Sometimes JJ will bring John B and they’ll all play cards or smoke weed on her patio. She assumes JJ told all of them about her and Rafe and that’s why he was spending time with her. It doesn’t bug her as much as it probably should, most of the island had already known by then. The first time JJ brought John B he had scooped her up in his arms and hugged her so hard she was sure they were going to have to send her back to the hospital because her lungs had exploded. They didn’t talk much about Kie ditching all of them the year before, Kie had told John B that she was sorry and that she didn’t know why she did it, and he shook his head and waved her off, telling her not to worry about it. They also never talk about how Pope never joins them. 

“Hey.” They both kind of stare at each other for a while before Kie realizes she’s supposed to let him inside. 

“Oh uh, come in.” She opens the door wider for him and then pushes herself back towards the couch. 

She hears him close the door and out of the corner of her eye, she watches him take a seat beside her. She can’t decide what’s gone through more therapy recently, her or her couch. 

“JJ said you got your cast off?” She looks at him confused and he points towards the crutches. 

“Oh right, I’m not supposed to be using them, but I don’t like walking on my ankle because it still hurts.” She hates the small talk, but she knows if Pope wants to talk about everything that’s happened, he’ll start the conversation. 

“I was the one to confront JJ about why he was spending so much time with you. I mean you just ditched us, JJ was as pissed as I was. John B kept telling us that you had to have had a good reason, that’s why I always thought it would be him to cave first, not JJ. I was still mad when he told me, I can’t figure out why. But I don’t know, today it felt stupid to still be mad, so I came here.” He doesn’t tell her it’s because like her, he had also fallen in love with his best friend. The only difference was that she didn’t love him back. She loved his best friend instead. 

“I also have a history of making decisions without knowing why I was making them.” 

They smile at each other and out of habit after mending a relationship, Kie grabs the remote. 

\-----

Kie begins to get restless as her ankle heals. What happens now? Does JJ stop visiting her? Do they all stop being friends again because she no longer needs saving? 

When JJ comes to visit her later on that day, Kie tries not to act too weird. She tries to pretend everything is fine, but everytime JJ touches her she jumps a little and she has to ask him to repeat him almost every time he speaks to her. 

She thinks he tries to kiss her when he gets her an ice pack for her ankle. The last time she jumped slightly she ended up smacking her ankle against the table, which had really fucking hurt. She’s laying across the couch, so JJ has to bend over her to place it on her ankle. When he goes to stand up, he stops right above her face, switching between looking at her and her lips. Kie’s mind is racing, part of her is telling herself to shut up and let it happen, that this is what she has been waiting for. She’s been in love with him forever and he’s finally making a move. The other part of her is too afraid that this is going to ruin their friendship. That part wins. 

She moves her ankle slightly so the ice pack falls to the floor, ruining the moment. 

“Oops.” She whispers, and JJ gets up. 

She expects him to laugh, say something about how clumsy she is, tease her for it. What she doesn’t expect is for him to be mad or annoyed. 

“How much longer are we going to ignore what’s here?” He takes his cap off to run his hands through his hair, something he does when he’s frustrated. 

“What?” Kie asks, taken back.  _ This is it  _ she thinks to herself  _ this is where everything explodes.  _

“Look Kie, if you want to pretend like there isn’t something here forever, that’s fine, I can do that. But let me know so I can stop embarrassing myself thinking maybe I have a chance.” She doesn’t know why now he’s so mad. They’ve been this way with each other for years. Knowing there’s always been  _ something more  _ but always choosing to ignore it. 

“What do you want me to say JJ?” He scoffs at her and shakes her head, backing away from her. 

“You’re really going to do this? Fine. I’ll make it easier for you.” And what she really doesn’t expect is for JJ to leave, slamming the door behind him. 

For the first time in a long time, Kie puts her head in her hands and cries. 

\-----

After a week her mom finally says something. They’re at some Kook restaurant eating lunch. Now that Kie can finally walk on her ankle Anna has insisted they go out and do ‘mother daughter things’. Kie knows she’s only doing it because she’s guilty she didn’t notice and intervene between her and Rafe earlier, so to ease her own guilt Kie doesn’t say anything and tags along. 

“No JJ recently?” Kie nearly chokes on her lemonade. She knows her mother likes JJ least of all out of her friends so Kie doesn’t know why she’s asking about him. 

“What do you mean?” As much as Kie hates it, she would rather go back to the conversation of  _ what did you think of that dress in that store window?”  _

“I just haven’t seen him come around that much lately.” Even though Kie’s ankle is mostly healed, her friends still do her the favour of hanging out at her house, rather than making her drive all the way to the chateau. Recently Sarah has started joining them, but still no JJ. John B and Sarah have recently started dating and Kie tries not to feel envious that Sarah had been able to jump on the opportunity while it was sitting right in front of her without fucking it up.

“He’s just had other things to do.” Kie shrugs. She knows that her mom can see right through her lie, but Kie hopes she doesn’t comment on it. 

Anna just sighs and shakes her head. “Does he make you happy Kiara?” 

“He’s my best friend.” Which is the truth. He also makes her heart beat out of her chest and makes her nervous and calm at the same time, which she doesn’t understand how it’s possible, but it’s JJ and she stopped questioning everything JJ a long time ago. 

“You know that’s not what I mean Kiara.” Part of her wants to pour her heart out to her mom. Tell her that she is so in love with him that sometimes it physically causes her pain, but she’s too afraid that if they act on their feelings and things don’t work out it’ll ruin their friendship forever. 

“Well he’s my best friend mom, of course he makes me happy.” She settles on the obvious answer, Kie has always been a master at lying and terrible at telling the truth. 

“Then give the poor boy a chance.” Kie doesn’t have to ask her mom what she means, and she’s too shocked to say anything because she never thought that her mom would ever give her approval to date JJ. 

“Okay, maybe I finally will.” 

\-----

When her ankle has finally, completely healed a week later, she finally musters up the courage to drive to the chateau. She finds him in the driveway, head buried under the hood of the twinkie. He turns around when she shuts the front door of her car. He looks shocked to see her at first, but then raises an eyebrow and grins, any emotion to tell her how he really feels to see her gone. 

“Looks like the legs all healed hey? You know that means you can’t boss me around anymore.” Out of habit she almost teases him back, but she’s here on a mission, and she’s afraid that if she stops for anything, she’ll lose all her confidence. 

Kie walks right up to him, grabs her shoulders (and tries not to think too much about how he’s shirtless and she’s touching him while he’s shirtless, and how it makes her feel that she’s touching him while he’s shirtless), and kisses him. 

The few seconds it takes for him to kiss her back has her panicking, thinking  _ oh god i’ve ruined it and now we can never go back.  _ But then he does kiss her back, and she wonders why they bothered to wait so long. She mentally kicks herself from keeping this from happening for so long. 

When they pull apart JJ looks confused, brows furrowed and mouth open. “Kie wha-“

“I don’t wanna pretend anymore.” She hopes that alone will answer his question so she can go back to kissing him, but of course it doesn’t. 

“What brought this on?” She doesn’t blame him for being curious, since the last time they spoke she pretty much told him that it was never gonna happen. 

“I was wrong to think never knowing what could happen was better than the possibility that it might ruin everything. I was just scared.”

He drops his head so it rests against her forehead. “I would never hurt you the way he does.” Kie knows that, but somehow hearing him say the words out loud makes her feel better anyways. 

“That’s not what I was afraid of.” Everything that she was afraid of with her relationship with Rafe she does not fear with a possible relationship with JJ. But losing JJ scared her so much worse than the thought of staying with Rafe did because in that scenario at least she still had JJ to save her. 

“Then what was it?” She wishes they could skip all this, go back inside and pretend like she didn’t cost them months of a potential relationship, but she knows she needs to tell him her fears so she doesn’t mess everything up again because she’s afraid of losing her best friend. 

“What if this doesn’t work out JJ? Then what? I don’t want to risk our friendship.” She hates how dumb it sounds now, knowing that they both had feelings for each other, but choosing to ignore them so that they wouldn’t ruin anything, like that alone wouldn’t already destroy their friendship. 

“And going on never knowing if it could is the better option?” She rolls her eyes at him even though they both know he’s right, but that doesn’t mean she’s willing to admit it. 

“I thought so before, but now I realized how stupid it was.” Before he can open his mouth again to possibly ask her another question, Kie cuts him off. “Look JJ I’m all for talking about this later, but I kind of really want to kiss you again.” 

JJ chuckles and takes his forehead off hers to kiss the top of her head. “Now that is a plan I can get behind.” He brings his lips down to meet hers once more. "You know, if me fixing a car shirtless is what it would have taken for you to come to your senses I should have told them to bring you to the chateau weeks ago." 

She pushes him away and rolls her eyes. "Shut up!" She laughs at him and runs into the chateau laughing, JJ not far behind. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy happy holidays and an even happier New Years!! This took me so much longer than I expected and wanted it too but we are here finally! I hope this mended some of the hearts that I broke in chapter one. I don't usually write happy endings so I apologize if the ending is terrible. As always, comments are appreciated and thanks so much for reading xx

**Author's Note:**

> I'm contemplating on whether or not to add another chapter so one at least one of my works can have a happy ending, but am still unsure. If you think I should or have any ideas/suggestions for another chapter please feel free to leave a comment! Thanks for reading!!


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